We invite you to enjoy this personal blog post by Daniel Roquéo, with the title “I choose to trust God more than fear”
Yesterday I was struck by an immense amount of fear. Pretty much out of nowhere. All of a sudden my attention was pulled to outer circumstances, circumstances that have been as they are for about a week or so. In other words, nothing new.
I have been observing myself over the last week, somewhat puzzled that I have not experienced fear before. The circumstances have been of such nature that I, before, would have been plunged into massive fear along time ago. Not this time though.
Until yesterday, that is.
The ego is screaming loudly
As I am writing this, the ego is very loud. With all it’s might it is seeking to convince me to give into my fearful experience. It desperately wants me to take action from this place of worry and doubt that I find myself in. As I have done so many times before.
It whispers, yells and shouts at me that I need to take action now, or I will soon find myself at the brink of destruction. It wants me to react rather than respond. To make low choices arising out of fear, rather than high choices arising out of trust.
It seeks to sway me from trusting God more than the ego. And it does so very loudly.
My whole body is affected by this. My stomach is doing somersaults. I am having a real challenge keeping my mind from going to the surface appearance of this particular circumstance. Fear is constantly seeking to get my attention.
I experience nothing but chaos, turbulence and disharmony. On the surface.
I choose to trust God
Underneath the surface there is calmness, stillness and tranquility. It is somewhat weird to be experiencing both levels at the same time. Chaos on the surface and stillness within.
I am reminded of something I heard Eckhart Tolle speak about many years ago. About how as we learn to turn within, we become like an ocean. On the surface there may be a storm raging, but deep down – there is nothing but stillness.
This is what I experience now. And I am so grateful that I have come to a place where I can actually choose to trust God more than fear. I am so thankful that I have come to a place where I can choose to respond rather than react. That I can choose period.
And this even though, I have had such an intense schedule, with little room for formal spiritual practice. Which should reinforce the fear rather than the peace.
Back to being
I realize that there is not much that I can do, other than choose to become still. Other than choosing to come back to the nowness of this moment, over and over and over again.
Because it is there, in the sweet embrace of the Holy Now that I get to reconnect with the peace of God. With the peace that passes my surface mind’s understanding.
I know that the coming back to stillness, to gratitude, to joy and peace are the only way to go beyond this challenge that I am facing. It is only from this place that I get to choose to trust God more than fear.
There is no use trying to force anything. There is use trying to beg or coerce God to come down rescue me. All is always radiated from within me and so as I in consciousness choose to just be with that which is, while holding the vision of what I desire – I give the sacred laws permission to work for me. Rather than against me.
Gratefully embracing and allowing is the key
As I turn my attention within, I realize that although I am experiencing much fear and worry – there is not much resistance toward it. In other words, in some way I am able to be with that which is. I am not seeking to change it. Nor am I seeking to push it away or deny it. It is simply there, and I am simply there with it, in it – yet not identified with it.
In fact, on some level (though not all of the time) I am grateful for this. I know that God is forever for me, never ever against me. As God is always for me and as God is everywhere fully present, I know that everything is working for my good.
I know that each and every single one of my challenges are Divine gifts and blessings of transformation. Calling, pulling and pushing me to go deeper into that which is. To go higher into new expanded levels of consciousness. And so, that which I am now experience, although giving rise to turmoil on the surface – is nothing but good in progress.
This is my learning a lesson I need to learn, if I am to move forward along the path of awakening.
And so I allow that which is, to be as it is. And I give thanks for it. I am grateful for it
It is all about the moment to moment choice
This is all moment to moment choices. It is about me choosing, in each moment – to trust in God or to trust in fear.
Life never happens to us but always through us and so whatever we predominantly turn our attention toward, is that which ultimately will become our life experience. Nothing ever comes into our experience uninvited. But it all comes in full alignment with the Divine order.
And so, in this moment I choose. As well as in this moment, I choose. Each and every moment presents and opportunity to choose.
Sometimes I have the ability to make high choices. Other times I lack that ability.
Whenever I become aware that I have lost myself in the lack and scarcity fantasies of the ego – I get to choose to come back to this moment – and choose anew.
Life truly is a magical and blessed adventure. I am so grateful to be on this path, to be who I am and where I am.
I thank God for the lessons I get to learn, even though I sometimes wish I didn’t need to learn them. I am thankful that I have come to a place where I actually find it quite easy to trust God, even while experience much fear.
I am truly blessed to be on this path.
Blessings of Love & Light ?
Daniel Roquéo ??